Aug 17, 2013

jonzor:

babycakesforboobear:

leedstentlovers:

unconventionalkitchenslave:

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

where you put the cucumber

image

DEAD.

(via caryrulesyourworld)

Aug 16, 2013
  1. Mom: If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?
  2. Me: A dull knife.
  3. Dad: Why a dull knife?
  4. Me: You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.
  5. Mom: We've raised a potential serial killer.
  6. Dad: I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that.
Aug 14, 2013
the-absolute-best-posts:

d0esntmakesense:
This is probably the coolest GIF I’ve ever seen.

the-absolute-best-posts:

d0esntmakesense:

This is probably the coolest GIF I’ve ever seen.

(Source: the-science-llama, via the-absolute-best-posts)

Aug 14, 2013
Aug 14, 2013
Aug 14, 2013
Aug 14, 2013
Aug 11, 2013

(Source: crazynattie, via samstutch)

Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013

disneyprincest:

why are my parents always like “go to bed.” i am in bed. im always in bed. you go to bed. stop talking to me.

(Source: parasailin, via supernaturalfantastica)

Aug 11, 2013

itsnyaaabetch:

My girlfriend (who is asleep) just rolled over, wrapped her arms around me and very lovingly whispered “I want to murder you”

(via zebbbbbitneverends)

Aug 10, 2013
Aug 10, 2013
mangledsmile:

I never thought I’d feel like this again.

mangledsmile:

I never thought I’d feel like this again.

(via caryrulesyourworld)

Aug 6, 2013
Aug 6, 2013

(Source: writinqueen, via fl0wer-fields)

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